TALES FROM HUMBER: The road accident trauma I cannot escape

For me, it started when I was on a trip, and the coach bus struck a snow bank and rolled on to its side. The bus was a standard-sized coach commonly used by hockey teams. 

I can still smell the burning rubber, the smoke, and feel the sense of near-death panic, and I have had a fear of the road that has never faded since it happened. 

Years later, it happened again, this time without the snow. My feelings were the same. The intense anxiety returned. This was my second bus accident. 

My nightmares began after that. They involved crashes of every kind; cars, trucks, buses, and the nightmares became more frequent. 

One stood out. A bus was crossing a bridge over the water at a normal speed. It then accelerated, crashed through the barrier, and plunged into the water. 

I did not fully understand how deeply these accidents had affected me or how much the fear had taken hold in my daily life.  

In September 2025, my mother was getting married. During the trip to the reception ceremony, the alternator on our limo bus failed, leaving us stranded in the middle lane of Hwy. 401. I had a severe panic attack, one that felt almost like an out-of-body experience.  

I smelled burning rubber. I felt like I could not breathe. I tried breathing exercises to calm myself, but I was convinced the bus would tip over, as it had before. 

I remember pleading with the driver to let me out or open a window because I was certain I was suffocating. 

A paramedic performed a wellness check and guided me through what felt like an endless moment as the trauma resurfaced. 

Since then, the nightmares have become a weekly occurrence. At times, they trigger flashbacks while I am awake. There have been moments when I was afraid to get into any vehicle. 

A Statistics Canada study done in 2024 showed 31 per cent of Canadians have reported experiencing potentially traumatic events (PPTE), with transportation-related accidents among the most common. Many individuals exposed to such events develop symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  

The study also shows these symptoms can include recurring and distressing memories, avoidance of reminders, and disrupted sleep. 

For many, experiences like mine are not isolated. They are part of a larger reality faced by Canadians who have lived through traumatic events. Recognizing that has helped me understand that I am not alone, even on the days when it feels that way.  

I am still learning how to move through that fear. Some days are easier than others. But understanding where it comes from has been a first step in taking back a sense of control that those moments once took from me.