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The federal government's announcement of its Men and Boys Health Strategy will kick start a national conversation that Joseph Naranjo, 22, hopes will get more help at the high school level, where his own challenges began.
Naranjo said it felt like he had to minimize his emotions when he was younger.
“As a kid I used to cry a lot and no one ever came to me about my emotions and how to deal with them and for me to just slowly neglect those feelings did not really feel natural to me,” he said.
The federal government’s initiative, announced by Health Minister Marjorie Mihel on Feb. 23, starts with an online forum to get the public’s input.
The government has joined with Movember Canada for this initiative. Movember is an annual campaign every November where people grow moustaches to raise funds and awareness of men’s health.
The public is asked to submit an online response forum. These national forum responses can be submitted until June 1.
Naranjo said that he’s happy about the strategy as he feels that many young men do not know how to handle their emotions.
A Statistics Canada study in January reports men are less likely than women to try to access healthcare.
This report showed a gender disparity in how men and women use mental health services.
Statistics Canada shows women are more likely than men to get help and this shows that some men feel there are barriers to care because of their own misconceptions about mental health issues.
Naranjo said he feels that there are currently no ongoing conversations about men’s experience with mental health.
“I personally think there’s no active discussion with mental health. Especially in a cultural sense either comfortably or it is just not something we do as men. I have never had a real talk with anyone in my age group or friends,” he said.
Naranjo said men do not often talk about mental health and need more encouragement to do so.
“Most men don’t wanna sit around talking about their feelings,” he said.
Naranjo said that workplaces should be more than a place where you just go in and out and that there should be an area that oversees mental health in the workspace.
“You could have a family, a lot of friends, be really rich or famous, but it doesn’t matter,” he said. “At the end of the day when you are alone in your bed or the washroom, what you process really impacts your future action thoughts and behaviours. Being able to focus on that in a way that is more positive or finding ways to enjoy life would be really helpful.”
Emily Vergara, a mother of three, said her 12-year-old son has struggled with his mental health while learning to manage ADHD and high-functioning autism, a diagnosis he received at eight.
When her family began the diagnostic process, Vergara said the doctors often dismissed her son’s emotional outbursts as typical behaviour for boys.
A report by the Movember foundation showed the 54 per cent of men surveyed reported facing at least one barrier to having better experiences with healthcare providers.
“Men tend to rage and it’s considered normal, but it shouldn’t be,” Vergara said. “It has always been the standard for me, but I’m pretty sure there’s usually an underlying issue.”
Vergara said one strategy that has helped her son manage his emotions is art. At school, he uses a board that allows him to express what he is feeling through symbols representing emotions, such as happiness, sadness, confusion, and anger.
She said accessing specialized mental health care, however, has been difficult.
Vergara said the process of seeing a specialist has been filled with delays.
"My son has mentioned sometimes feeling suicidal, so we would have to go to the hospital and get him checked out,” Vergara said.
She said that staff would tell the family a psychiatrist would call back, but the wait could take months.
“The first time we went, we waited three months for a callback. The next time took six months.”
Vergara said many families turn to the internet for guidance while waiting for professional help. When asked what advice she would give to other parents seeking help, Vergara said they should research their options.
“Everyone learns things differently. As a parent, it is rewarding when you see the change in your child and the progress they make. They cannot always advocate for themselves.”
]While families struggled to access professional care, some say men may turn to informal settings to open up about their mental health.
Ashley DeOliveira, 34, who has worked as a bartender for 16 years, says she has seen men use social environments as a way to share personal struggles.
“All the regulars are in their late fifties, early sixties.”
DeOliveira said some common signs she notices when people are going through a tough time is speeding up the pace of their drinking and organizing group drinking.
“When they are drinking in a rapid time, ordering drink after drink or buying lots of rounds for people,” she said.
DeOliveira said some men find it easier to talk to a bartender than a friend or family member because the bar can be a no-judgment zone.
“Some of these people spend more time at the bar than they do at home,” she said.
She said the federal government coming out with this conversation is a great thing and that inclusivity is important when addressing mental health.
“I think men struggle, just as much as women do, they just hide it better,” DeOliveira said.
She said when customers begin opening up in deeper conversations, it is often a sign they may be struggling the most.
“It’s when they open up that stuff out of the woodwork and it then goes to explain why they have been at the bar all weekend or drinking so much,” she said.
DeOliveira said she has seen support within friend groups.
“I have seen a couple of groups of buddies open up to each other and tell them it’s gonna be okay when they’re going through a breakup,” she said. However, she said women are more likely to openly confide in each other.
DeOliveira said throughout her years working her role in conversations about men’s mental health has opened up.
“You hear it a lot more often. I have buddies that are stressing out about this and that and before they used to keep it to themselves. Now they are so much more vocal.”
She said embarrassment carries a lot of weight in discussing emotions.
“I think they’re embarrassed to say they are sad or cry. Men are supposed to be macho and I think that is why,” she said. “Open up to your buddies. I find when I open up to my friends, I realize everyone is going through something.”
She said listening is key and people need someone to tell them not to overdo it.
The federal government offers several resources, including mental wellness programs, First Nations and Inuit communities and national psychosocial support networks, which can be found here.
The link to the forum can be found here.
